Fate
by heaven85
Summary: This story is about the challenges of life. How does Usagi cope with misunderstanding and heartache? How does Mamoru deal with the true nature of his feelings?


Fate

By: Heaven85

This is a one shot AU fic based on an idea I got from a Taiwanese soap. I hope you enjoy this fic and please review. I'm using their original names just because I love it better than the N/A dub names. And I'm sorry if there are other stories like this already out there. I just don't have the time to go through all the fictions available. I just love this idea. They start out talking about the future and then later on they are talking about the past. I'd like to thank my wonderful editor Loki for doing a great job on this story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor moon, Mamoru, or Usagi. This fic is for entertainment purposes only.

Fate: By heaven85

Prologue

_Fate is a concept to which I didn't subscribe. If you had asked me a few years ago if I believed in it, I would have answered with an emphatic no. Likewise, if you told me that in the future both Tsukino Usagi and I would be deeply in love and happily married, I would have laughed in your face. But the truth is, she changed my life and opened my eyes to the power of fate and the role it plays in all our lives -- and it's all because of her._

_My name is Chiba Mamoru, and this is the story of how my wife and I found each other again._

_Looking back, at that point in my life I had never been involved in any kind of serious relationship. So, how could I possibly imagine being in love? I was not the easiest person to get along with; I guess some people might have called me cold-hearted. But I think it was mainly because I was lonely, but I would never let anyone know that. Not thinking I could really love somebody, in that I hadn't experienced it and had no frame of reference, and then she came into my life. More accurately, she bumped into me one sun-splashed afternoon and couldn't get her out of my head after that. _

_She always seemed so happy and loving. I didn't know why, but I think I always resented the fact she was so happy, in a way I must have envied her so much as she showed me how empty I felt inside and I blamed her for that on some level. But fortunately, my inexplicable aversion to her would always vanish in her presence. Somehow, she always seemed to manage to make me smile and brighten up my day._

_She had the most incredibly adorable hairstyle; it was most unusual by any standard. I couldn't help but tease her about it. I knew I would get a rise out of her every time. I loved how she would get so upset with me. I delighted in watching her cheeks go beet-red and that cute pout appear and tickle my senses -- I just loved seeing her like that. Sometimes though, I wished I could control the way I acted around her, but I was powerless. I didn't like acting like a jerk, but I couldn't help myself. I wanted to tell her just how beautiful I thought she was, but those words would remain stuck in my mouth. Maybe I was scared someone as wonderful as she would never feel the same about me. Perhaps it was due to the fact I was too scared to admit I was falling for her._

Usagi didn't believe in fate. Instead, she subscribed to the philosophy that one controls their own destiny. Therefore, a person would shape their lives depending on what choices they made -- good, bad or indifferent. But when it came to love, Usagi believed it all too real and inexplicable.

Usagi's mother always told her, _you couldn't control whom you fall for. _Usagi never subscribed to this idea. _I mean… You can't fall for someone you don't even like, especially if they're mean to you. But that was before I met Chiba Mamoru. Usagi thought about how their _relationship had become so complicated, remembering their first meeting, after bumping into him accidentally. She felt so embarrassed to come across as clumsy around such a cute guy. Usagi would find herself apologizing constantly. _But then he had to go opening his mouth, teasing the life out of me about my -- unique -- hairstyle, as he put it. Okay, I understand, my Odangos might seem somewhat unusual, but the trouble was, he wouldn't stop calling me meatball-head. Even though I'd told him, so many times I hated it. Usagi thought to herself, looking back on those early days. She _found him infuriating, but truthfully, she loved those arguments. The reason being, he would give her his full attention and truth be known, she couldn't get enough of him. She lived for his attention.

Usagi believed he too enjoyed their sparring on some deeper level. But if any of her friends asked, she'd never admit it, not even to herself.

Usagi found Mamoru so smart and handsome. She supposed there had to be at least a million doe-eyed girls wanting to go out with him, and they would be, she thought, girls more beautiful and smarter than she. But, Usagi would sometimes catch him watching her from the corner of her eye. She pretended not to notice, and if he suspected for a moment she knew he was looking at her, she was convinced Mamoru would withdraw his interest in her, no matter how fleeting. Usagi had no idea why he was watching her, but there was no way she would dream of asking him. She held onto the hope, that just maybe, somehow he might develop feelings that matched her own towards him. But those dreams would always shatter the moment he opened his mouth.

Mamoru's best friend, Motoki, who at one time Usagi had a major crush on, seemed always to be apologizing for his behavior. He would tell her, _He's usually not like that, Usa-chan. _putting it down to a difficult childhood. Usagi's heart went out to Mamoru, hoping someday, he might confide in her.

Mamoru was curious to know whether Usagi knew he was looking at her. He did this whenever the opportunity presented itself. If she noticed, she wasn't letting on. _What did I expect? Given the way, I treated her. And there I was, expecting her to fall head-over heels for me? Yeah right, in your dreams, Chiba Mamoru, _he chastised himself, inwardly.

He then asked himself the question, _Am I really that much of a jerk? _Mamoru didn't like the message his guilt-driven conscience was telling him. He had only just discovered the truth the day his best friend, Motoki, told him some home truths, as he sat drinking his coffee, his mouth agape with shock.

Motoki couldn't understand why Mamoru kept taunting the bright-eyed blonde the way he did. Unable to believe that Mamoru could be so clueless about how his behavior had hurt Usagi's feelings so badly. Motoki simply shook his head and went to serve another customer. When he returned a moment later, he asked why Mamoru hadn't noticed what a sweet and warm-hearted girl she was. And told him that this girl was special, and deserved better from the likes of Chiba Mamoru. He asked why it was Usagi he singled out for his taunts. Mamoru just stared blankly at his friend, and sighed, pushing a hand through his hair explaining that for some strange reason, he found he couldn't help it. He just lost the ability to control what he did or said, and Usagi had a weird effect on him.

"Hey, Motoki, it was never my intention to hurt her like that… I really needed the wake-up call on that, looks like I've got some apologizing to do," Mamoru said, vowing to make it up to her -- someday, if she would give him the opportunity. Guilt ridden, weighed down by his behavior, he thanked Motoki and went for a walk in the park. He looked up, smiled at the blue sky and shoved his hands into his jeans pockets and watched the young couples walking hand-in-hand, or with their arms around one another. He sighed. _I have been such a fool. _He chided himself, and continued his walk, lost in thought. He considered her such an important part of his life, a part he couldn't afford to lose.

When next he encountered the vivacious Tsukino Usagi, he was casually walking along the pavement. Then, out of nowhere, she bumped into him once again -- their usual form of greeting -- Instead of scowling, this time; he smiled as she offered an apology. Wasting no time, he reassured her it was okay -- he was fine. Usagi raised those azure blue orbs to his ocean-blue ones, a hint of surprise within. Of course, he couldn't blame her for being a little suspicious, after all, she had good reason, aside from the fact he was actually apologizing, and on top of that, addressing her by her proper name, Usagi, not the usual, Odango Atama. She simply kept looking at him with those soulful eyes, striking a chord inside him.

Before he knew what he was doing, or saying, he took her arm and led her through the gardens in the park. He then started on his apology, an apology well overdue. He told her he was sorry for acting like such a jerk around her, and asked her forgiveness.

Usagi stood frozen to the spot, completely taken aback by Mamoru's unexpected apology. She asked herself what he must think of her at that moment, as she was unable to utter a single word in response to his heart-felt apology.

She started to panic, What if he thinks me a little on the dumb side, or worse, that I am just ignoring him. I got to say something! She thought, chiding herself.

But when he started to walk away, she finally found her voice. "I don't hate you, Mamo-chan…really! I really do want to be friends with you! "

His response was far more positive than she could have possibly hoped. He beamed and it lifted her spirits and made her a little giddy. Usagi couldn't have wished for anything more, though she did harbor a desire for them to be closer, she pushed that greedy little thought to the back of her mind and threw him a radiant smile. She knew this wasn't a dream.

He chuckled in that gentle way that made her heart flutter, she was blushing slightly and this pleased Mamoru to no end.

"Hey, Usagi, lets go get something cool to drink… Don't worry, its on me, the least I can do and a perfect way to begin our friendship, okay," she giggled and took his arm, and they fell into an easy rhythm and he treated her to a milkshake, which she loved; this gave them the perfect opportunity to talk.

He could scarcely believe it; here they were, sitting together, chatting amiably, totally at ease with one another. As if they were old friends. _I wonder how Motoki-kun would react if he could see us now, talking in such a civilized manner? I'm looking forward to seeing the expression on his face._

Motoki stood there, dumbstruck, T-towel hanging limply in his hand. A silly grin plastered upon his face, as he noticed the aura of love around Usagi and his best friend, Mamoru-kun at that moment as they entered the arcade.

Later, he would tell Mamoru he was very relieved to see that both he and Usagi were getting along so well, for he was growing tired of having to play referee between two of his closest friends and wished nothing more than for everyone to get along.

Usagi and Mamoru had a great time that day, having lost themselves in meaningful conversation. She was so full of life and beauty, opening up to him like a spring bloom. Mamoru was sure she wasn't aware of how beautiful she was. He felt as if his life had brightened considerably, just by having Usagi a part of it. She was a breath of fresh air and the light to chase away the darkness of his haunted past.

Mamoru was both enchanted and surprised by Usagi's keen intellect. She was apparently a lot smarter than people gave her credit for -- her ideas and views on so many topics, was truly amazing. But time got away as it tends to do when people enjoy themselves. So lost was he in her azure orbs, he hadn't realized it was time to go. Gathering her purse, slipping her bag over one shoulder, she smiled and stood up. Mamoru, not content to allow her out of his sight just yet, offered to walk her home, to which she was more than happy to accept his offer. It was warm and pleasant outside. They walked in companionable silence, simply enjoying each other's company.

Later, Mamoru thanked her once more for forgiving him, telling her he'd really enjoyed spending the afternoon with her. She smiled that beautiful smile of hers, as she looked up into his deep blue orbs. He took her hand and squeezed it gently, and whispered his goodnight.

Usagi couldn't believe she finally unveiled the real Mamoru, and climbed the steps of the Tsukino residence with a huge smile on her face.

Usagi sensed her mother knew why her daughter was so light-hearted as she practically skipped into the kitchen to munch on a couple of cookies and pour herself a glass of milk, smiling like a loon.

After the evening meal, she sat and read a Manga magazine, thinking about the wonderful time they'd had that afternoon when Ikuko called her to the phone. It was Mamoru.

She jumped to her feet. Luna looked up, raising one golden eye quizzically at the blonde lightning bolt as she ran to accept the receiver from her mother, who chuckled to herself as she left Usagi to talk to her young man. Mamoru asked her to meet him again tomorrow, and without hesitation, agreed happily. They talked for a little while, Mamoru delighting her with stories and anecdotes from the University and his friends at the hospital where he did a little work.

Later, when she put down the receiver, she had the feeling she would soon find out whether he felt as much for her as she did for him.

The following day, the time they spent together revealed so much, one to the other about their likes and dislikes, hopes and fears, learning so much about one another. Usagi admired Mamoru's independent spirit and inner strength in the face of such a difficult childhood. Mamoru observed the earnest look in her eyes and smiled as she affirmed he had risen above all obstacles thrown in his path and she was proud of him. Usagi understood he didn't want pity, and told him as much, bringing a smile to his lips. She was happy to have him confide in her, and telling him that if he ever needed to talk, she would always be there to listen. He gave her a dazzling smile and thanked her with such gratitude and happiness, she couldn't help think there hadn't been too many people he trusted in his life.

Mamoru found Usagi so easy to talk too. It didn't faze her in the slightest that he had grown up in an orphanage, and couldn't remember a thing about his parents and childhood. He found her remarkably kind and understanding, and sweet. Mamoru, from the time he was a boy, had a second sense when it came to telling whether a person was genuine or not. And when it came to Usagi, he could see no trace of pity in her eyes. He found her voice warm and loving. She gave him a hug and this moved him so much, and he knew with absolute certainty, she cared for him. He loved the security of her embrace and didn't want to let go. His heart soared with happiness. She suggested they take a walk through the park.

He thought her so pretty and full of life and love for everything, including animals. He watched her as she played with some wandering cats and dogs exploring the park surroundings. He enjoyed watching her feeding the ducks.

At that moment, he realized She had opened a door in his life he hadn't known existed until with her eyes, heart and loving nature revealed those wonders missing in his life.

_Usako_, he thought to himself. It suited her cute disposition, like a bunny. And decided to give her that name.

The next two weeks had flown by so quickly. Usagi and Mamoru hung out together in the arcade, or walked around checking out their surroundings. It was nice, but she wanted more. She wanted him to ask her out and lavish his affection on her. Usagi was beginning to doubt his feelings toward her. Then unexpectedly, he called and asked if she would have dinner with him. Of course, she accepted. She would jump at any opportunity to spend time with him. By this time, Usagi knew she was in love with him -- despite the fact she had tried to convince herself otherwise -- but when he referred to -- their night out -- as a date, this statement had certainly caught her off guard. But it also made her very happy.

Mamoru remembered how he'd worked up his courage to ask her on a date -- he was sweating a little and surprised to find he was actually nervous. He took a deep breath, and was on his way.

Later, she would tell him how calm he had sounded over the phone. Usagi agreed to go out with him, and he felt like jumping for joy. But of course, he had to play it cool in front of her. Mamoru knew Usagi was pleased about their outing when he called to confirm their arrangement.

He picked her up, and drove her to the restaurant, taking pleasure in watching the happiness radiate from her face. She was so excited she leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. He knew Usagi wouldn't forget this night in a hurry.

He spared no expense -- the date -- he had vowed, would be truly amazing he was true to his word. Starting with dinner, roses, candlelight and music, Usagi's heart spun with the aromatic fragrance of romance and, of course, his company.

The rest of the evening was incredible. The food was amazing and they danced together most of the night. Usagi felt so at home in his arms, as if she had been there before, long ago. Usagi, amazed by his incredible dancing skills, and although not the best dancer herself, managed not to trip him up too often. He didn't seem to mind though, for he simply smiled tenderly down at the blushing angel in his arms. She felt happier than at any time in her life, and it was all because of Chiba Mamoru.

She thought him so cute, when he asked if he could kiss her, and of course, she obliged. It was just the most incredible, amazingly sweet kiss. Usagi knew they had something special going, and something told her to hold on to him and never let go.

Usagi, blissfully radiant, felt so light-hearted. There was a new spring in her step, not present the day before, and everyone noticed. It was a feeling akin to true bliss, and all this thanks to Chiba Mamoru.

They were inseparable. Mamoru was grateful to the Kamis for his Usako, he sensed she'd given her heart and he reciprocated. _A delightfully blonde effervescent bolt of love struck me. I love her! Yup, Chiba Mamoru, and you love her so very much you're smiling a lot more. You actually enjoy life a whole lot more since she has become a part of it. _He mused to himself in front of the bathroom mirror, eyeing his reflection, winking.

The moment he walked into the arcade, Motoki noticed the change in him. He leaned forward on the counter, and conspiratorially Motoki-kun asked him about it. Mamoru told his friend it was all due of a certain girl with the cutest hairstyle and the most gorgeous eyes in the entire world. Motoki smiled, patting him on the back and wished them well and was very happy for him.

"I have to admit, Mamo-chan, I kind of didn't expect this, but in a way… I'm not that surprised," he said, giving his friend a knowing look.

"What do you mean, Motoki-chan?" He asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Simply this, isn't it true you two were so afraid of how you felt about one another, you did all in your power to convince yourselves otherwise? You both adore each other, its weird how neither of you realized it enough to stop pushing one another's buttons with your sparring matches… Natures dance, I guess, Mamo-chan," Motoki left off, and poured Mamoru another coffee, setting it on the counter before him.

"I guess you're right, she seemed too good to be true, like a dream I could never have, and for that I taunted her. Daring fate to realize my dreams, other times punishing myself through her for being there, so cute and adorable. Weird, I know, but you summed it up pretty well. You know me too well, I think…and I am glad of it!"

Mamoru, introduced to most of Usagi's friends, thought them cool and could see they thought the world of Usagi. They seemed to be happy for them both, but later, Usagi told him they were a little concerned that she might end up getting hurt. He drew her into his arms and did his best to reassure her.

"Usako, I love you and you mean the world to me," he told her, looking down into her beautiful azure eyes. She had a look of surprise on her face, but was definitely happy.

At first, she didn't quite believe all this was real, but Mamoru affirmed his statement by sealing it with a dreamy kiss. Her response was filled with passion and tenderness as the kiss chased away any lingering doubts and insecurities he may have held in that moment, as they deepened their kiss.

Usagi's thoughts spun like a shimmering top, _Hearing him say he loves me affirms what I knew inside to be true…and makes me feel special and he has the confidence to express his love for me… And he called me Usako. Then _Usagi mentally shook herself, feeling she was beginning to space out and thought she was being a little unfair to Mamoru, and decided to speak what was in her heart. "I'm sorry, Mamo-chan. I love you, too."

He was certainly surprised all right, and gave her a questioning look to be sure he heard right. I nodded, and the brightest smile swept over his face, as he gathered me into his arms and whispered how happy he was to hear her say those words. Looking into one another's eyes, he pulled her into his arms for another incredible kiss.

Then came the day they dreaded. Mamoru was due to go to the airport to continue his studies abroad. Both knew this day would arrive, but didn't want to think about having to be apart for a considerable period of time. They knew full well this day would arrive, but wanted to avoid the reality as much as possible.

It had always been a dream of Mamoru's, to become a doctor and study in America. But he didn't want to be away from Usagi any longer than he absolutely had to, and told her as much over a milkshake. Deep down, she wanted him to stay, but she was not that kind of girl. She wanted him to realize his dream, no matter how much the tyranny of distance keeping them apart pained her. He found this one of the many things he loved about her. He explained that the program he was undertaking was an intensive course, to ensure he returned home to her as soon as possible.

She smiled a sweet smile and told him not to rush on her account and to do the best he could. He was very sad to be leaving her behind, but said he would be up to his neck in study and not to worry if he didn't answer her letters as quickly as he would like.

He left her with a promise ring within a rose-colored velvet box, a reminder of his love and that he would return to her.

Usagi felt the sadness almost overwhelm her as she prepared to say her goodbyes to her beloved Mamo-chan. She put on her sweetest face, matching her beautiful dress and the large shining eyes of sapphire-blue. She didn't want him to worry about her. The previous night she dreamt a gathering of beautiful women, all vying for his affections, surrounded him and she couldn't reach him. The thought of him meeting another woman in America haunted her all morning, it was as if a seed of doubt planted within her heart and tore her in two. But she overcame the feeling and put it down to insecurity over the distance and time they'd be apart and thought about their reunion. The ring he gave her was exquisite and showed her she had no cause to worry and he truly loved her. Mamoru affirmed this in a letter he had left with the box. He knew her well enough to know how to reassure her in this most thoughtful way. I have this ring to remind me of how much he loves me and to bring a smile to my lips whenever I look at it…I am so lucky to have a love like his, she thought smiling down at the beautiful ring in its soft velvet cradle.

Usagi wrote him regularly whenever she felt the urge to talk to him about what was in her thoughts and heart, but hadn't sent all of them. She only sent those filled with good news and of a lighter nature. She didn't want to burden him wither feelings of emptiness without him – not wishing to distract him from his grueling study regime, nor did she wish to make him feel guilty when he had no need. Instead, she filled him in on her day-to-day life and the latest on her friends, who were supportive at this vulnerable point in her life. They were always around to talk to and included her in as many of their activities as possible to distract her so she wouldn't think too much about Mamoru. They were the best friends she could have asked for. She smiled at her friend's good intentions, but he took up most of her thoughts, but tried not to let it show.

The weeks and months passed her by quickly, though the waiting, loneliness and the burning frustration dragged through her soul like a lead weight. Not a word in all that time and she was beginning to lose hope she'd ever hear from him again. Then one day, she came to a decision, more to help her sanity than for just the disappointment and anger she felt towards Mamoru at this time. She stopped sending him her letters but for one final letter telling him goodbye.

Mamoru had been checking at the local post office for his mail, but no letters from Usako, this had him confused and a little concerned. He had been so busy, but made a point to check for letters regularly and couldn't understand why he'd not received anything from her.

Fate must have had it in for him for as he was working in the hospital as part of his practical-work, but there had been some sort of medical accident. Mamoru was exposed to a contagion. He had no idea what had happened, but he was out of it for some months.

After he had regained consciousness within a hospital ward with a drip in his arm, he stared in disbelief into the face of one of his colleagues, who told him that a bug had hitched a ride on his immune system after jumping ship off one of his patients. Mamoru was shocked to learn that Two months had passed by, and he was grateful his memories remained in tact.

When he eventually was sent home with a clean bill of health, one of the first things he checked was his surface mail; he found no letters from his Usako. He found this quite strange. He called her number, but there was no answer and didn't wish to talk to the answering machine.

Unable to reach her, he busied himself with study. When he had some spare time, he went back to the post office and discovered a pile of letters from Usagi was waiting for him. He asked why nothing had got through to him since his arrival in the States, but the staff could only apologies and put it down to some industrial disputation. He frowned and muttered under his breath on the way out with his payload, but at least he had the letters in his keeping. Once home at his apartment, he opened the most recent one first. It was a letter saying goodbye from my Usako, it read: _I would never forget the love we shared, but it is time to say goodbye. I hope we can still be friends_.

Mamoru stared at the letter as if it were covered in the virus he'd recently suffered and let it fall to the floor, he was so shocked and angry. A million thoughts rushed through his head, He couldn't bare the thought that Usagi might have found somebody else, but he refused to believe it. He could only wait for a reprieve, but no such letter or message ever arrived.

Usagi had been so distraught as the result of breaking off a relationship with somebody; she expected to spend the rest of her life. She couldn't get over the fact he hadn't the courtesy to return a single letter she sent him, nor had he bothered to get in touch with her. Usagi's friends were trying to help her to get over him, but she was inconsolable and wanted to be alone. They refused to let her wallow in her misery and she was grateful for that. Slowly, she began to feel a little better. Rei and Lita offered to hunt Mamoru down and teach him a lesson. Usagi laughed at the thought, but she didn't want them to hurt him, as she still loved him. No matter what, she wanted him to be happy, even if it wasn't with her.

Usagi had discovered she possessed a wonderful talent for drawing cartoons. Currently, she was working on a series of new sketches, and while looking over an art magazine, she noticed a contest where applicants could submit their drawings with a chance at being published in a new book.

Usagi shrugged, and thought, _Why not_? So, she tried it, and amazingly, ended up winning. Her work was being published. It was very exciting and kept her quite busy. Usagi managed to keep herself distracted enough not to think of Mamoru too much.

When Mamoru finally finished school in the US, he returned to Japan to look for Usagi. But soon discovered she had moved out of home. Dejected, Mamoru lost hope of ever finding her again. He never stopped loving her.

A few weeks had slowly passed by, and one night, while watching television, he was shocked to see her on the flat screen -- large as life -- he could only stare in disbelief. Usagi had published an art book. Mamoru was so surprised and happy she was doing so well he almost forgot what had happened -- or not happened -- between them. He jumped to his feet, looked up the television station address in the phone book, and was soon on his way. After searching the building, he finally caught a glimpse of her and she looked as beautiful as he remembered. But the moment he thought she'd not seen him, she turned and her eyes caught his. She was in a state of shock, surprise and for a second blinked and walked towards him.

"Hello, it's been a long time," she said, in an almost off-handed way. But her voice was tinted with emotions he could tell she had well in check. He stood and smiled a reply.

"Yeah…Usagi, it has…you look great!"

"I would love to stay and chat, Mamoru, but I have to rush off to another meeting, sorry," she said, in her typical light-hearted manner. Then she gave him a wry smile before turning and walking away.

The next six months passed quickly. In all that time, Usagi and Mamoru hadn't spoken or seen each other. Usagi was obviously upset; he couldn't understand why she'd given up on him and their relationship. Something was going down, and he had no idea what had brought all this about. Mamoru thought time healed all wounds; _Sure, I know it's not true! I wont forget her, I can't…even if I tried, and I have, damn it! _He told himself, in frustration. He tried to bury himself in his work. But as time had progressed, Usagi dropped a note in his mailbox at the hospital. He stood looking at it stupidly, not understanding what had brought about the change of heart in Usagi.

Motoki was concerned for his friend and decided to talk to Usagi. He sat her down, and talked about Mamoru.

"Usagi, what is going on with you two? I don't get it, one moment you guys are in love, he goes off to the US to study, he stops sending, or doesn't send you a single letter and…" he stopped as a tear appeared in the corner of her eye. "I wish I could say he deserves it, but he doesn't look the guilty jerk and there is no girl hanging off his arm, and no joy in his life. He just sits drinking his coffee in silence, he speaks to me as if I am not here and I can't get a word out of him. He is depressed and I know he's hurting. There has to be a reason…I know him, Usa-chan. I know him and he isn't himself! You are the only one who can get through to him. "

"I don't know, Motoki. I thought he just turned away from me and… Well, you might be right," she looked at him and shook her head.

"You have too, Usa-chan, do it for yourself if not for me, if there is some good reason for what has happened, you owe it to yourself to find out what it is, please think about it."

"Okay… I will try, you're right. I have nothing to lose. I am over the hurt, but if what you say is true, I will find out!"

When Usagi tried to mend the fences between them, she met with stubborn resistance. She came over to see him at his apartment, bringing a newly released medical book as a peace offering. He stood in the doorway, unshaven and looking as if he'd not slept well the night before. He was polite, but she could sense he felt a little uncomfortable around her.

Mamoru chided himself inwardly for being so immature. Usagi handed him the book and spoke softly as he apologized and led them to the kitchen and she sat on a stool not taking off her shoulder bag. She knew he wasn't himself and had the presence of mind not to bawl him out for past transgressions, knowing Motoki was right. If he hated her, he wouldn't be so self-deprecating and depressed. She knew this wasn't the time, so after an almost one-sided conversation, made up of small talk, she finished her hot chocolate and thanked him, and turned to go.

"I know you have questions, so do I, but this is not the time, Mamo-chan…I will leave you now, but I want you to know, I don't hate you, K?" He nodded, and stood in the doorway long after she had gone.

A couple of months rushed by, and Mamoru had picked up after Motoki and Ami spent a lot of time convincing him to get his act together. He ate, slept and felt better about his work, and found he was beginning to enjoy it. Not long after, he saw Usagi again at a coffee shop after work. She congratulated him on an award he was given for his research. When Usagi's voice greeted him on the cell phone, he knew she meant what she said. She didn't hate him. And whatever had passed between them since his ill-fated trip and illness in the States, it seemed things were on the mend, so he cheerfully agreed to meet.

They chatted amiably, making small talk. And after they had finished their coffee and muffins, she asked if maybe they could have dinner sometime, and Mamoru agreed.

"Yeah, that would be good, I will call you and we can work out a time? "Usagi nodded and smiled.

"Got to go! " she said, with a smile and off she went. Seconds later he'd realized there was no time like the present and raced out onto the sidewalk to catch her, and that was when he saw her with another guy. It pained him to see that they looked happy together.

Usagi had moved on with her life, or so it seemed. She hadn't believed she could possibly have met somebody to spend her life with, but she had, and it had happened so unexpectedly. Seiya, she thought, was a great guy and cared about her. He took an interest in her work and helped out where he could. He wasn't Mamoru -- and knew deep down she wouldn't find anyone quite like him again -- she considered herself lucky, for he understood how difficult it was getting over the loss of her first love. She thought Seiya so sweet and caring, and couldn't help but begin to fall in love with him.

And then it happened; he had asked her to marry him while they were out at one of her favorite cafes. He got down on his knees and proposed the old fashioned way. She nodded, yes because she was so stunned and overwhelmed by it all. But after she thought upon it, it didn't completely feel right, but she pushed her reservations aside and was sure she could be happy. Usagi knew she would never love him the way she loved Mamoru, but perhaps one day she, might.

When Mamoru received the wedding invitation, he felt as if his heart had been torn in two. He hadn't considered Usagi would marry Seiya so soon. He had only begun to get used to the fact she was dating somebody else. _I guess the truth is… I always took it for granted she would return to me. Selfish, I know, but this had sustained me. Fate was a cruel mistress, bringing us together, only to tear us apart._

Mamoru decided to talk to her and tell her how he felt. After all, what had he to lose? -- Everything it seemed -- but he would never forgive himself if he didn't make the effort. No matter how much a fool he might make of himself, he had to try.

After arriving at the house, Mamoru could see her friends talking animatedly about the upcoming wedding. Her parents, looking so happy and proud of their daughter, he felt he couldn't go through with this.

Usagi had begun to feel more and more uncomfortable of late with the notion of getting married to Seiya -- and secretly wished Mamoru had come to ask her not to go ahead with the wedding -- then maybe she would have a reason not to, because at that moment, she couldn't convince herself otherwise. Perhaps all this time she had been wrong about Mamo-chan, and he loved her. _Seiya can give me a good life and we're leaving Tokyo after the reception and moving to the USA. It's scary and exciting at the same time. I can make a fresh start and leave all my memories behind. My parents and friends all seem to like him…this is for the best_.

Mamoru left the house knowing there would be a few hours of preparation before the ceremony and reception, he had an interview at eleven and it was only half an hour away. If only he had the courage to face Usagi and speak his heart, he wouldn't have cared if the interview were cancelled. But he sighed and hopped into his red sports car and drove to the studio.

He sat in the comfortable leather seat and prepared himself to be interviewed about his award.

Today is her wedding day, but it is a day not for us, but to another. I find myself distracted as I think about how much I regret not telling her how I felt, now it's too late. He told himself as the journalist flashed deep emerald-green eyes expectantly towards her subject. He knew he couldn't ruin this day for her, she had made her choice and he felt he must respect it. Mamoru was pulled out of his thoughts by the interviewer, introducing herself as Jane. She wanted to know if he had anything to say before she asked her questions, he shook his head and then the camera focused on Mamoru as he was introduced to the audience. Then a series of questions regarding his work in his field of medical research followed.

He seemed at ease, relaxed and then came a question that really caught his attention. "Do you have any regrets, Mr. Chiba?" Jane asked, leaning forward, brushing her blonde fringe out of her eyes.

"Yes, I suppose I have regrets…we all do, but one that comes to mind is, I never got to know my parents before… I never had the chance… I regret not keeping in close contact with certain people while I was away from school… I regret not cherishing the most important woman in my life, and I regret not telling her how I feel about her."

"Why not tell her now?" Jane asked, clearly moved by the timbre in Mamoru's voice, almost as emotional as he.

"It's too late, she's going to America, and getting married to a good man. They will share meals, go to the movies together and she'll be waiting for him to come home at the end of the day… He'll kiss her goodnight, and they will find love and comfort in one another's arms… I just wish it were me." Mamoru replied, not believing for a moment his message would reach its target.

"Is there something you want to say to her?" the interviewer asked, wanting Mamoru to tell her as much as their audience.

"No, I won't say it."

"Now, if the woman Mr. Chiba is talking about is watching and listening to this, please give us a call." Jane added, surprising Mamoru. He shook his head, but it was done.

"Are you sure you don't want to say anything?"

"No, do you have a red marker?"

"I have a red lipstick on the side table." Jane said, handing it to him with a curious look on her face.

Usagi found it incredibly weird to be standing in the office with the reverend performing the wedding ceremony for Seiya and herself later that afternoon. They decided to stop by the reverend's office to see how things were progressing. When we entered the room, the reverend happened to be watching an interview with Mamoru. He was talking about a girl he had something important to tell her. I froze, wondering if he was talking about me. I wasn't sure, but the moment he told the interviewer this girl was going to America, my suspicions were confirmed. Usagi found it difficult to breathe as she listened to his heart-felt words that struck the core of her being.

He was expressing what he thought married life would be like for her and he regretted he wasn't the groom. I moved closer to the screen as the interviewer asked what he wanted to say to me. But instead of saying it, he asked for a writing pen or something, and the interviewer suggested her lipstick. Usagi was in two minds at that point, asking herself whether or not to go ahead with the wedding and become Seiya's wife, or not -- then she saw it. The camera focused on a piece of paper he was holding in his hands. She read the words scribed in rose-pink lipstick, I—and symbolizing the word love was a picture of a hart -- u. I felt my heart leap with happiness, and as I stared into the face of Seiya -- all I could see was Mamoru and I knew what I had to do -- if I didn't talk to him soon, I would regret it the rest of my life. Without a second thought, she left Seiya and a knowing reverend in her wake as the cleric began to consol the man staring after the woman who he'd always known would never be his.

She ran out of there so fast, she resembled a snowy comet in her bridal gown, her trail flying out behind her as the bride with a mission raced past startled passers-by. Usagi's instincts told her to check out the park where she knew he liked to spend his spare time.

Usagi, slowed down to catch her breath. Surrounded by beautiful green trees and colorful blooms, she moved along the path and that was when she saw him. She called out his name.

He couldn't believe it when he heard his Usako's voice behind him. Mamoru thought he was hallucinating, but he turned around and there she was. She looked incredibly beautiful in her wedding dress, and I could tell she was panting a little. Did she run here? He thought as a smile lit up his face.

"Hi." he replied, and took a step towards her.

"I saw everything. Did you truly mean what you said?" Usagi asked, quickly and blinked her long lashes. Mamoru took a deep breath, and in less than three strides, he stood before her. Looking into her shimmering blue eyes, they stood their and found themselves locked in a space that was so deep and filled with wonders each would forever find themselves bound and he simply nodded, such was the spell she'd cast over him in that look of love. "I want to hear you say it…" Usagi asked, in almost a whisper.

"I love you, my Usako. I never stopped," he told her, and crystalline tears pricked the corners of her eyes and a gentle smile swept across her pretty face.

"I love you too, Mamo-chan," Usagi whispered back, wrapping her arms around him.

"I learned something else, too," he added, pulling her closer.

"What?" Usagi asked, in a dreamy tone as her arms wrapped themselves around his waist.

"I learned that in order to cherish the people around me, I need to always let them know how much they mean to me by telling them whenever the opportunity presents itself," he replied, in a philosophical tone.

"But why didn't you ever return my letters?" Usagi asked, after a moment of silence.

"I was completely out of it after being struck down by a nasty bug, and I spent two months in hospital," he explained, and Usagi's eyes widened with surprise and realization.

"What? Nobody bothered to tell me." Usagi said, upset at this unexpected revelation.

"Because they didn't know whom to contact," he answered, stroking her cheek tenderly.

"Then why didn't you tell me?" Usagi asked, confused.

"I wasn't able to get any of your letters until I had been out of hospital a couple of weeks later, when I checked with the post office. And then I only read the last letter you wrote me. I was so upset… I tried calling you, but you were never home,"

"Okay, I see that, but you had other opportunities to tell me how you felt… Why didn't you?" Usagi asked, quietly.

"You looked so happy with Seiya and I didn't want to ruin your chance for happiness. You made a choice and I had to respect it," he answered, with a wry smile.

"That is one of the things I love about you, your selflessness…but it almost cost you dearly. But you have to know, Chiba Mamoru, I could never truly be happy without you. After being so upset all this time, I can't believe it was just a stupid misunderstanding that kept us apart," Usagi said, with a slight smile.

"I know, but in a way…maybe, the time we spent apart had done some good…at least for me. It truly taught me how important you are to me and how much I truly cherish and love you. I finally realize how meaningless my life had been without you," Mamoru answered, kissing her on the forehead.

Usagi smiled and touched her forehead to his. Mamoru slowly pulled back to look at her, and then their lips touched for the first time. It was an experience unlike anything he'd ever encountered before. Mamoru felt the shocks of electricity taking him over as she returned the kiss with equal passion. His heart was overflowing with happiness.

This was the defining moment in my life where I accepted fate, as reality two people who truly loved each other will end up together, no matter what curveball life throws your way. I mean, the fact the minister was watching Mamoru's interview at that precise moment had to be more than luck. She mused. They had sat down on a nearby park seat and talked. They decided to start over and get to know each other afresh and start with a clean slate, leaving the painful memories of the past behind.

Usagi and Mamoru started dating on a regular basis. And a year later, they were married, after which lived a wonderfully happy life together.

_That was the story of how my wife -- I love how that sounds -- and I got together. Fate played no small role in bringing both Usagi and myself together once again, and I cherish her now more than ever. We have a wonderful life despite those arguments couples experience as part of the growth of their bond as they grow through one another's seasons, changing and learning together as they love…petals and thorns of love… I believe our love will survive anything. I love her now, more than I did the day I married her. _


End file.
